Whenever i ask my clients, ‘How are you today’? They inevitably say ‘i’m OK’. This standard response is often untrue. So why do we say we’re ok, when in actual fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth?
People often say they are “okay” even when they aren’t for several reasons:
Avoiding Vulnerability: Sharing deeper feelings can make individuals feel vulnerable, so they choose to mask their true emotions to protect themselves.
Social Norms: It’s a common social practice to respond with “I’m fine” or “I’m okay” to avoid delving into personal issues, especially in casual conversations.
Fear of Burdening Others: Some people worry that discussing their problems might burden or upset others, so they prefer to keep things to themselves.
Coping Mechanism: Saying “I’m okay” can serve as a way to convince themselves that they are indeed fine, which might help them cope with their struggles.
Cultural Conditioning: In some cultures, expressing distress or negativity is discouraged, leading individuals to hide their true feelings.
Expectation: Society often expects individuals to appear strong and resilient, leading them to suppress negative emotions to fit that expectation.
I reflect what i hear, ‘You’re OK’ along with what i see. Which is often a strained expression, with a small smile that has been practiced over time, to disguise what is really going on.
This Gives them an opportunity to tell me if that is the truth. I sometimes ask them, ‘are you really ok or do you just say that as force of habit’?
